Love and Memory: Our Journey to Niagara Falls

Wow, June 20. Today Captain Justin has arranged for an Uber to take us to Niagara Falls. I was 12 years old last time I was here. It was with my Mom and Dad as we went to Expo 67. Our last family trip.

We were traveling in a camper that my Dad had rented from my uncle Don. It was a very fun trip. Mom and Dad celebrated their wedding anniversary on the trip. There was a big deal about hiding a bottle of champagne so that the Canadian customs would not take it. I think that may have been a misunderstanding on my Father’s part. ;-)

Last night we went up the hill to the restaurant was about a flight of stairs up. Had a drink at the bar and a very nice dinner..

Interesting they have a jazz band on a Wednesday night. Peggy and I went back onto the boat and sat on the aft deck and enjoyed the music until we decided to go anywhere that was cooler.

Related to the Alzheimer’s and dementia that Peggy is experiencing:

Last night she had a pretty hard time with delusions. Kept feeling things in her scalp. Metal staples or things as such. Peggy asked me to come over and help her get them out. This of course was after I was about to drop off to sleep. It’s interesting how it always seems to happen that way.

Sometimes I feel like the parent that gets up when they have a child that’s sick. It doesn’t matter how tired you are, you just get up and take care of the child. In my case, it’s the love of my life.

Every day I continue to be amazed by her. Her body is fighting this battle and slowly losing. And yet for the most part she continues to stay positive. Last night wasn’t good in the contexts she was having a hard time. Lot of poking at her head. Other than the skin was red I didn’t see anything.

I took several pictures so I could show them to her but then again she commented I wasn’t much help. I had to agree with her. I wasn’t any help. The only thing I could do was rub her back and trying to distract her from what was going on with her head.

I think about all the other Alzheimer’s caregivers in my heart ❤️ goes out to all of them.

When I first started this journey, to be honest I didn’t know what to expect. Sure, like many, I read the papers and the research on Alzheimer’s and what it was like. In the back of my mind, I thought my journey would be different. I was right on that but in total denial of what laid ahead.

One of my classmates shared that ALZ is the long goodbye. I am really thankful to have Peggy even if it’s like this but to be honest if God decided to take her quickly it would be fine with me. I know she would be home with Jesus and out of this pain. I can’t imagine the frustration she feels. She knows she’s totally dependent upon me. This point was made yesterday when I was talking about what did she want to do tomorrow for our outing to Niagara Falls. She told me you just go ahead and pick I’ll enjoy whatever you choose.

As I’ve grown older, I would like to think I’ve grown wiser. I have a lot of empathy for my parents as they aged. My mother had her battles with schizophrenia. My mother also was a chainsmoker right up to the end.

Interesting point about patients that have schizophrenia, they tend to smoke. The nicotine helps quiet the brain. I read that somewhere along time ago.

Last night, Peggy was having trouble with her head. I know I mentioned this previously but I forgot to mention that she got out of bed and went up to the main deck. Just so you understand, my girlfriend hasn’t wandered off or done anything of the sort. But I’m expecting there will be a first time sometime. Hopefully not until after we get into the assisted living. I did get up and I walked up to main deck to check on her. She told me to be careful where I walked so I don’t cut myself on the staples. Said that they were all over the floor.

Good news if you can have good news in the situation. This morning when I got up and gave her some more Tylenol I asked her how she was feeling? I had to ask her twice as the case nowadays. When speaking to her or asking her a question you normally have to ask things twice in order to get her attention I think the first time it starts and she focused on what you’re saying.  She didn’t remember last night.  That’s the bad news/good news.

Back to a statement she made years ago “what I need from you right now is a little bit more compassion.”

To all the caregivers out there may the Lord bless you with lots of compassion.

Thank you for reading may your day be blessed by our Lord.

The old guy